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i breathe

we drive the kids to school

the morning is gray and beautiful

snow is predicted to fall


there is a feeling of great decimation within me

as if i already know everything will be destroyed

a vestige from when everything was destroyed

when i was young or in a previous life


i feel bad for all of the ways i have lived unskillfully

and contributed to the destruction even if this was

part of my conditioning unfolding

i feel regret


terror comes with it too at times

it has a way of making me very present

there are no more fantasies

i breathe


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