i breathe
we drive the kids to school
the morning is gray and beautiful
snow is predicted to fall
there is a feeling of great decimation within me
as if i already know everything will be destroyed
a vestige from when everything was destroyed
when i was young or in a previous life
i feel bad for all of the ways i have lived unskillfully
and contributed to the destruction even if this was
part of my conditioning unfolding
i feel regret
terror comes with it too at times
it has a way of making me very present
there are no more fantasies
i breathe
