almost
when my heart opened
energetically, the dam which had held
back all of the painful emotions, it broke
open, crumbled, fell apart so that all of
those feelings which i had denied, and
ignored, and buried, and avoided feeling
for so long, when that fortress of cement
crumbled around my heart, all of those
feelings came rushing back into me,
so that for a long time, i felt so open,
so weepy, so vulnerable,
and so tender
it was not what i wanted to feel
but it was what i was feeling
the tender poignancy of our existence
it was almost unbearable
this life is so transient,
uncertain, and beautiful
the old leather shoes set in cement
as a memorial for the principal
at my children's school
walking along the street
the cool winds of fall and
the discarded leaves
of life's luster
chasing me
riding in the car
with my wife and the kids
passing an accident of those
who were less fortunate
all of it made me
want to weep
all of it was almost more
than i could bare
