almost

when my heart opened

energetically, the dam which had held

back all of the painful emotions, it broke

open, crumbled, fell apart so that all of

those feelings which i had denied, and

ignored, and buried, and avoided feeling

for so long, when that fortress of cement

crumbled around my heart, all of those

feelings came rushing back into me,

so that for a long time, i felt so open,

so weepy, so vulnerable,

and so tender

it was not what i wanted to feel

but it was what i was feeling

the tender poignancy of our existence

it was almost unbearable

this life is so transient,

uncertain, and beautiful

the old leather shoes set in cement

as a memorial for the principal

at my children's school

walking along the street

the cool winds of fall and

the discarded leaves

of life's luster

chasing me

riding in the car

with my wife and the kids

passing an accident of those

who were less fortunate

all of it made me

want to weep

all of it was almost more

than i could bare